6 Totally Unsolicited Tips for My Little Brother on Graduation Weekend

Nate Green, The Huffington Post

My little brother is graduating college this weekend, which makes him the first person in my immediate family to do that. It's a big accomplishment. So, naturally, I wrote him a list of six tips he didn't ask for and will probably ignore.

You know. To celebrate.

1. Learn how to make one amazing breakfast.

Why breakfast? Because you can eat it any time of the day.

Check it:
Breakfast -- Breakfast
Lunch -- Breakfast
Dinner -- Breakfast

In fact, breakfast for dinner is a truly amazing experience. Whenever I eat eggs and bacon at 8 p.m., I feel like I'm breaking some sort of antiquated rule and sticking it to The Man.

"Take that, society!"

But... what to cook? I suggest starting with scrambled eggs. But not the flaky, crumbly kind. I'm talking about the slightly-runny good kind.

A few tips:
Get a non-stick pan.
Use butter instead of olive oil.
Get a rubber spatula. (Not the kind you flip burgers with. Amateur.)

2. Learn how to make one amazing cocktail.
Why a cocktail? Because you can drink it any time of the day.

OK, I'm kidding. No cocktails in the morning. (Except for brunch.)

Anyway, knowing how to make a good cocktail is like having a superpower. One that makes you look cool in front of girls and livens up any party.

Plus, you'll have a valuable skill for when you're sitting at home alone trying to figure out what the hell you want to do with the evening (or your life).

Start by learning how to make a Manhattan. Why?

It's a classic cocktail, the ingredients are easy to find anywhere, and it's really, really hard to screw up.

3. Ask more questions (especially when you meet someone for the first time).

At some point you'll be in a situation where you'll have to talk to people.

Repeat after me: Small talk sucks.

So, a few rules: No talking about the weather. No asking how many brothers and sisters somebody has. No asking where they grew up.

Instead, show an actual interest in the person.

You're graduating with a degree in journalism for chrissakes. Put it to use.

Ask questions. Lots of them.

By asking questions and listening, people will begin to feel like you really understand them. They'll trust you. They'll see you as an ally.

That's important, because it gives you an opportunity to learn how to help that person and add value to their life.

And value for them means value for you. Eventually.

4. Once you find something you're interested in, go deep.

Maybe it's learning how to start a business or a blog. Maybe it's learning Spanish or yoga. Maybe it's learning something so crazy I can't even think of an example right now.

Whatever it is, if you're into it, go deep.

Learn everything you can about it. Research the history. Practice it incessantly. Find the best in the world at it and see how they do it.

It won't take over your life. Usually just a few weeks. Or months. Or years.

But by then, it'll be so second-nature it'll just bleed into other parts of your life and become a part of your identity.

That's usually a good thing.

Read the full article online... 

Are You Driven by Character or Emotion?

By John C. Maxwell

“The greatest gap in life is the one between knowing and doing.” - Dick Biggs

Life would certainly be easier – and success more simple – if all it took to achieve was to KNOW the right things and DECIDE to do them, right? But I think it’s more accurate to say that a decision is just one bookend of achievement. The other is discipline. Decisions can only help us start. Discipline helps us finish. That’s where character comes in. Emotion might drive us to make a decision. But character is what keeps us going, even when it gets hard. In Developing the Leader Within You, I wrote about some differences between character-driven and emotion-driven people:

Character-driven people…

1. Do right, then feel good.
2. Are commitment driven.
3. Make principle-based decisions.
4. Let action control attitude.
5. Believe it, then see it.
6. Create momentum.
7. Ask, “What are my responsibilities?
8. Continue when problems arise.
9. Are steady.
10. Are leaders.

Emotion-driven people…

1. Feel good, then do right.
2. Are convenience-driven.
3. Make popular decisions.
4. Let attitude control action.
5. See it, then believe it.
6. Wait for momentum.
7. Ask, “What are my rights?”
8. Quit when problems arise.
9. Are moody.
10. Are followers.

The late Louis L’Amour is one of the best-selling authors of all time, with over 300 million copies of his popular western novels and short-story collections sold. When asked the key to his prolific writing, he responded, “Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on.” Allow character and discipline to drive you, and you’ll bridge the gap between knowing and doing. This will take you farther on the journey of success.

Read this article and others from John Maxwell online... 

Sun Tzu's 33 Best Pieces Of Leadership Advice

by Eric Jackson Contributor, Forbes.com


There was no greater war leader and strategist than Chinese military general Sun Tzu.  His philosophy on how to be a great leader and ensure you win in work, management, and life is summed up in these 33 pieces of advice.  They can all be applied by you in your job when you go back to work next week:

1. A leader leads by example, not by force.
2. You have to believe in yourself.
3. Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak.
4. If your enemy is secure at all points, be prepared for him. If he is in superior strength, evade him. If your opponent is temperamental, seek to irritate him. Pretend to be weak, that he may grow arrogant. If he is taking his ease, give him no rest. If his forces are united, separate them. If sovereign and subject are in accord, put division between them. Attack him where he is unprepared, appear where you are not expected.
5. The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.
6. Supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy’s resistance without fighting.
   
7. If the mind is willing, the flesh could go on and on without many things.
8. Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.
9. To know your Enemy, you must become your Enemy.
10. Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.
11. Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?
12. Even the finest sword plunged into salt water will eventually rust.
13. Engage people with what they expect; it is what they are able to discern and confirms their projections. It settles them into predictable patterns of response, occupying their minds while you wait for the extraordinary moment — that which they cannot anticipate.
14. If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.
15. Thus we may know that there are five essentials for victory:
    1 He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight.
    2 He will win who knows how to handle both superior and inferior forces.
    3 He will win whose army is animated by the same spirit throughout all its ranks.
    4 He will win who, prepared himself, waits to take the enemy unprepared.
    5 He will win who has military capacity and is not interfered with by the sovereign.
16. Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness. Thereby you can be the director of the opponent’s fate.
17. Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat.
18. There are not more than five musical notes, yet the combinations of these five give rise to more melodies than can ever be heard.There are not more than five primary colors, yet in combination they produce more hues than can ever been seen.There are not more than five cardinal tastes, yet combinations of them yield more flavors than can ever be tasted.
19. Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
20. When the enemy is relaxed, make them toil. When full, starve them. When settled, make them move. 

Read the full list online...

The Hard Truth About Procrastination

by Maria Molfino 

 

There are deep psychological reasons behind procrastination. It’s not about willpower and laziness. It’s about fear and resistance. In observing my own tendencies, coaching, meditating, and leading workshops on this topic, here’s what I’ve learned:

Indecision is really about fear

When we trace back the root of indecision, we see that indecision is a manifestation of fear. Fear of what? Fear of making the wrong decision.

If there is a right and wrong decision to make, the thoughts are “If I choose the wrong decision, I won’t advance as much, I won’t get closer to the results I want, I won’t obtain my goals…I will fail.

Indecision = fear of making mistake = perfectionism = fear of failure.

If you’re in a period of indecision and uncertainty, move into any form of action, no matter how small the step. You will learn and then course-correct as needed. You may lose time (which sucks in a culture obsessed with speed), but at the end of the day, you have gained peace of mind. Indecision and worry just drains your mental energy. Stay away!

Unlink your work from your worth

Especially as creatives, designers and writers, we tend to put a kind of heaviness around the work that we do. That’s because we see our work as an extension of ourselves. And our work is very much an extension of a very deep part of ourselves: our personality, experiences, desires, dreams, values and fears.

But there’s a trap!

 

The trap is linking our work to our sense of worth.

This association can often happen on a very subconscious level. We receive feedback on a piece of work and we feel bad because we believe we are bad or not good enough.

Linking our work to our worth puts an intensity around the work. The more intensity and pressure you put on the work, the more likely you will procrastinate it. Find ways to make your work light. Learn to unlink the association between you and what you create.

You are much more than your design, job or career. Aren’t you?

Create more pause because it gives you more choice

Distraction and procrastination are best friends forever. Some distractions are definitely self-induced–you are resisting the task and so you are allowing yourself to be distracted, or you are even seeking out distraction.

We react to our own resistance, but aren’t aware that’s what’s happening in the moment. In other words, distraction is a problem with awareness and reactivity.

Throughout the day, create more spaces and pauses. Notice, observe, and choose differently. Pause gives you choice.

How to create pause:

• Develop a meditation practice. This will decrease your arousal/stress and increase your awareness and focus throughout the day, so that you can become aware of your tendencies of resistance and distraction.

• Practice holding your phone and looking at it without touching anything!
  
  
• Whenever something is loading and you see the loading icon, pause and ask yourself: Do I really need to do this right now? The loading icon would serve as a mental trigger for you to pose the question. Pretty powerful!

Work for less time. Eight hours is a myth! You don’t need to work for eight hours. You can work for far less time. But here’s the trick: design your day for concentrated bursts of focused work.

We tend to work in a very diffused way over several hours, where our attention is divided and we aren’t clear about what really needs to get done. We’re at the mercy of distractions. We have little output to show for the amount of time we have actually spent. But if you have periods of time that you’re concentrated and producing high quality work, you’ll have more leisure time.

One great strategy for this is called the unschedule. Schedule everything but work into your calendar. If you were to imagine your healthiest, most amazing self, what would you schedule?

Exercise, meditation, cooking time, friends, fun, festivals, hobbies, etc. Schedule it all.

The remaining time is your concentrated work time.

Experiment with the unschedule for a week and see how it goes! You’ll be surprised.
If you enjoyed this article, get email updates and exclusive access to my all-time favorite guided meditations (it’s all free).

Read the full article online...